"Straight" Talk: Hair Reflections

I'm not going to sit here a write all the things people said to me about my hair this time when I pressed it. What I am going to say is that it is always amazing. People who have seen my hair in amazing bantu knot outs, twists, twist outs, and any nummber of other amazing hair styles tell me that my hair looks amazing when I have it pressed. This is the norm. What I really wanted to shout from roof tops was " my hair should be soo much longer than this." the most backwards part of this is that people tell my hair alway looks cute. My hair has thinned out to new growth like fuzz is about three patches gradually over the last month. Sadly, being used to this because in the past things like this have happened to me because of dandruff; I endeavored to style my hair in a way that would make it unnoticeable. The two patches of hair loss at the my temples have not gotten as big as they are now in a long time. This time pressing my hair only made we realize how bad my hair is. My hair stylist told me to get some blood work done and see if it was thyroid a issue. Nothing came up in the blood test, I am no closer to finding out what the cause of this chronic dandruff and hair loss is. I have been in a cycle of about 5 months normal hair growth than 3 slight to severe months of hair loss and dandruff for the past 7 years. The fact this is has happened to me over and over again only makes me dislike my hair even more. The way I feel about my hair can be summed up like this:

With my hair in its natural state I am a person can do wonderful amazing styles that help me not to notice if my hair has been thinning. However, when my hair is straight I am a person with medium/short hair who wishes it was longer trying to hid some hair thinning while being painfully reminded of it every time I look in the mirror. 

  

     biggest patch

there are three patches like this throughout  the back

I know hair is not the biggest thing in life but when you have tried to have something for seven years that seems so simple it is very frustrating.  One of the things that bothers me is that I am trying to help other girls starting their natural hair journey and look at my own hair.I have little to show for being natural all my life, wearing protective styles all the time, finger detangling, moisturizing, etc. But I will continue on, I am going to start doing pilates again and get more sleep and just distress and not over think things in general.

  

I am debating as to whether I should wear my hair another week like it is or wash it and do it Saturday. A couple of things bother to so much that I want wash my hair even though I usually like to wear my press as long as possible to give myself a brake from doing my hair. This Saturday the wind was blowing and exposing my hair loss to the world. If I wash my hair Saturday I will get the joy of figuring out how to flat twist it in such a way that will hid the hair loss. Taking these pictures of my hair did help me to see that it doesn't look bad and if I wore a head band while I walked to school the hair in the front would not move. It will all depend on how I feel I guess.